When most of us think of grief, or the concept of grieving, death is the usual catalyst for said grief. Whether that loss is expected, or not, the flood of emotions that can overtake a human body, can be vast and overwhelming. Physical death, however, isn’t the only vehicle for grief. Death of relationships, can be, and are often just as devastating.
Over the past two years, I have had numerous conversations with people who are experiencing loss in the context of relationships. Romantic, work-related, familial, etc. No matter the situation, any shift, that results in someone walking away from, a person/people, or any unpleasant circumstance, is considered a loss. Oftentimes, this shift happens slowly, and could be a natural progression on the part of both entities. Other times, it can be an abrupt ending, with no hope of closure. In either scenario, we can be left with a host of emotions, which can take some effort to unpack.
During a recent conversation with a close friend, there was a sudden, and decidedly palpable shift in her energy, that I could feel, even through the phone. Immediately, the word grief, wrangled its way onto my tongue. All of the anger, denial, acceptance, bargaining, and depressive emotions we have shared with each other, over the past several months, finally made sense. She. I. We, have been grieving. Grieving a loss of comfort, security, or a sense of normalcy. Each person I’ve spoken to, is mourning a long-term circumstance. Be it a career of 20 plus years, a parent/child bond, or a marriage. The one thing everyone has in common: grief.
Grief creeps in like a masked bandit, waiting in the shadows to attack. A dense fog on a cool morning, narrowing your view to only 3 feet in any direction. A mental voyeur, aroused by your confusion and anguish. We try to juggle all the feelings that make us human, yet, make a failed attempt to not feel, all at the same time. We spar with the parts of self that feel a need to be strong. All the while, feverishly trying to bandage the crevices that allow our broken hearts to bleed. Bleed for loss. Bleed for seemingly wasted years. Bleed for memories of love and happiness we once felt. Bleed for the love you often gave so freely.
It’s okay to grieve. Grieve the relationships that ended up draining your life force, instead of building you up. Grieve the marriage that created more bitterness than bliss. Grieve the career that swallowed you whole, and left you empty. Grief can strengthen your resolve.
Sometimes, we just need to feel confident in the idea of grief. Take time to truly feel all of the emotions. The ebb and flow of shifting into a new reality. The heaviness of depression, as it settles over you like a weighted blanket. The shock of anger, as it pierces your face like a frigid winter night. The sting of denial, as it penetrates your heart like a jagged shard of glass. The innocent caress of acceptance, as it takes your hand like a toddler learning to walk for the first time. The stealthiness of bargaining, as it leads you to a back alley attempt to pick the pockets of your mind. It hurts. It’s frustrating. It’s all a part of the mysteries of life. We may try to avoid it at all costs. But, every so often, it taps on the door of your soul, and demands your attention. Grief, an Uninvited Guest that over stays its welcome, and dares you to find peace in a field of uncertainty.
apeaceofmine 
💜